Funny Football Player Names Harry Cockburn
Andreas Wank, Dick Trickle and Ralf Minge: The 20 rudest names in sport
Here is a countdown of the best rude names we could find from the world of sport
Image: Getty)
There are certain moments when it feels good (and right) to be a little immature.
And nothing gets us giggling like adolescent school-kids more than a naughty-sounding name - especially when the name belongs to a non-English speaker who isn't even aware of the comedy value it happens to be producing.
After Germany's Andreas Wank raised a few eye-brows in Sochi, we've picked out some of the most brilliant rude names sport has had the pleasure of giving to us.
The kind of names that make for commentary gold and whose spellings immediately make you perform a double-take, questioning "have I just seen that right?"
These are the weirdest, most wonderful, and (in some cases) downright filthiest names from the world of sport, along with some largely fictional facts to complement them.
Don't feel guilty at all in having a laugh at these...
20. Irina Slutskaya
Retired Russian figure skater who is two-time world champion and two-time Olympic medalist. She was entered into a fair few tournaments.
19. Dick Trickle
Former American race car driver who is believed to have won over 1200 feature races. Tragically committed suicide in 2013 (that's true, obviously).
18. Misty Hyman
Retired American swimmer who won gold in the 200-metre butterfly event at the 2000 Summer Olympics. She always pushed herself to breaking point.
Image:
Getty)17. Karen Cockburn
Canadian trampoline gymnast who won silver medals in the individual event at both the 2004 and 2008 Summer Olympics. Only gold was awarded for 'Unofficial Olympic Best Name 2008.'
16. Andre Muff
Retired Swiss footballer who played as a striker and was capped twice at full international level. Could also play in the hole, we're told.
15. Segar Bastard
Former English amateur footballer who played during the late 19th century. We couldn't find much information on his parents, sadly.
14. Quim
Portuguese footballer who plays as a goalkeeper - made nearly 300 appearances combined during long spells with Braga and Benfica, and capped 32 times by his country. Known for his Quim-tessential fluid distribution from the back.
13. Gregor Fucka
Retired Slovenian-Italian basketball player who won the 2000 European Player of the Year award. More popular than his name suggests.
12. Jean Condom
Former French international rugby union player who played as a lock. Always provided protection to his back line.
11. Dean Windass
Retired English striker who enjoyed his most successful spells with Hull City and Bradford City. Was known to cause a stink in the changing room.
Image:
Action Images)10. Dick Paradise
Former American ice hockey player who made 144 appearances in the World Hockey Association for the Minnesota Fighting Saints. An internet search reveals he shares a name with a naturist colony in Indonesia. Probably.
9. Ralf Minge
Retired German international footballer who played as a striker - spent his entire career at Dynamo Dresden. Considering this, you would expect his name to represent something longer.
8. Johnny Dickshot
Former Major League Baseball outfielder who played for the Pittsburgh Pirates, the New York Giants and the Chicago White Sox. Tried to pioneer a special curveball that dipped at a hitter's private parts, but it was outlawed.
7. Fanny Chmelar
German alpine skier who competed at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Her name once had Bradley Walsh in hysterics during an episode of the Chase. Now the owner of a discreet women's hygiene range.
6. Danny Shittu
Nigerian centre-back, currently enjoying his second spell at Championship side Millwall. Better than his name suggests - plus you'd never tell call him that to his face, looking at the size of him.
Image:
Clive Rose)5. Andreas Wank
German ski jumper who finished in 10th place in the individual event at the 2014 Winter Olympics. Always deals well with the job at hand.
4. Stefan Kuntz
Retired German international footballer who played as a striker. Name was famously mocked in Baddiel and Skinner's video of '98 Three Lions.
3. Gaylord Silly
Long distance runner who represents Seychelles internationally. Also works as a tree surgeon in France (actually true). And we thought they made that name up for Meet the Parents.
2. Argel Fucks
Former Brazilian footballer who played as a centre-back and won one cap at full international level. Now a very expletive manager.
1. Yoshie Takeshita
From a place called Fukuoka (seems to good to be true) and part of the Japanese women's volleyball side that won bronze at the 2012 Summer Olympics. Fortunately, she has never emptied her bowels while competing, we think.
Like those? Click here to see more funny names from the world of football. You're very welcome.
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Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/rude-names-sport-andreas-wank-3136499
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